Thursday, November 22, 2007

University and assorted sundries

This week marks eight at university in Huddersfield which, for those of you who don't know (the rest of you who don't care can go make a cuppa) is in West Yorkshire. It's not as bad as you have just judged it to be either. It's the biggest town in England, apparently it missed being awarded city status because some form was submitted too late. Contrary to popular belief, the only way a city becomes so is because the Queen decrees it a city. Nothing to do with cathedrals. There isn't one here anyway, though there is The Paris, our local. It's a dirty scuzzy little pub full of students and regulars, all with slightly dodgy "rock" haircuts and it plays the best music in town. Jagermeister is £1.50 and the toilets are actually confessional booths. Yep, you can slide the grate open and chat to your neighbour whilst on the John. Fantastic.

I guess I'll tell you a bit about where I actually live. It's a little student village, set on the side of a hill, called Ashenhurst. It's a 15 minute stroll to uni, 20 minutes back because there's quite a serious hill to be contended with. I say that like I ever walk back. I don't. There's a free bus. I live in house 14, in one of two rooms on the top floor. There's eight rooms in my little house. Out my window I can see a forest, and below me down the slope, the lowest row of houses where Joel and Locke live. I'll get to them in a minute. Out to the right of Ashenhurst is just a field and trees, forest behind, forest infront. Sadly, on the left, is the estate. It's not a bad looking place but it's full of all of the lowest kind of humanity who have taken to beating up students randomly and for no reason at all. This is a less than desireable situation admittedly but as long as you don't wander around on your own at night, things run smoothly.

On my first night here I attended a party with a girl from next door who had come round and invited me. I lost her within about five minutes of being there, she already knew people, but all was well because the first night at uni is like some kind of friendship orgy. I met a lot of people that night, and consumed a lot of beer. Towards the end of the party I was in a hallway of some house and a skinheaded chap with big sideburns and an inquisitive grin introduced himself. This was Joel. We chatted for a long while, taking the piss outta everyone and generally having what the kids call 'a larf'. The next day I awoke with a slightly thick head and sent Joel a text which resulted in me grabbing my crumpets (that's not a euphemism) and wandering down to Joel's place. On the way I bumped into a little dyed-haired and tattooed Northener named Lucy whom I had met the previous night and invited her to breakfast. She came, and that was the start of the breakfast club. Pretty much every morning since we three have breakfasted together and every evening we cook and eat together. The girl who first invited me to the party, Gemma (who for reasons unknown became known as 'Gerard') became part of this two and that's how things stand now.

Lucy is smart as hell, despite being dyslexic. She studies architecture, does too much work and is stubborn about not doing exactly what she's told. She looks like a hard nut but she has a heart of fudge. She'll go for a pint at 11am if you want, or do uni work until 2am if you need to. She spends more time on my bed than anywhere else and is an expert at watching hours of crappy Channel Four OD programs with me. She takes jokes about her mum very well, keeps me calm in emergencies, and dies and styles my hair several times a week. She can do all kinds of stuff you'd never expect and is always revealing it when you least expect it. She used to own her own house, ran a bar, worked as a florist, can instruct at canoeing, can sail well, rides bikes, has qualifications in everything going and has been everywhere you haven't. If you need to know how to do something, ask Lucy. That's how she became known as Locke, because just like John Locke in Lost, there's no end to her talents and no one tells her what she can't do.

Joel is the happiest person you're ever likely to meet. He is constantly and inexplicably enthusiastic about everything, from what you're having for tea to what time we're getting up in the morning. He studies music production and works hard at it. If you ask Joel to do something, he doesn't let you down and he helps around the house like a proper little housewife. He's very sensible about any issues that might have come your way, and is happy to discuss it and make you feel a million times better. He's never rude about people and will usually think the best of them. He's overjoyed by the fortuitous details of life so everything seems more fun with Joel around. He doesn't complain either. He has a lovely girlfriend called Rosie who everyone here loves and when they get together and bust out their catchphrases it's a real joy to behold. When Joel gets drunk, he says "I've never seen anything like it!" about everything. This is really funny. Unless you're as drunk as I was a few weeks back when apparently I was so annoyed I found it necessary to punch him in the face. I don't remember that and neither does Joel.

Gerard is almost as happy as Joel. She doesn't drink but you'd be forgiven for thinking she was on something half the time. It's amazing how much energy one person can have and generate in other people. She studies midwifery and she's going to make an ace midwife because she actually gives a shit. She's really good at making you feel better about yourself, and when we have sleepovers she neither steals the covers nor takes up too much bed. She's an awesome person to have around because she just gives off good vibes! Yeah maaaan. Gerard knows how to cook, doesn't stress about the unimportant things in life, and makes each and every one of her friends feel valued.

So that's the three people that spend the most amount of time in my room. There are other wonderful people in my life here -Woody, Jason, Kat, Lara etc etc.- but I can't very well go writing about everyone. The main focus of my room is the tea shelf. Fifteen different teas reside there and the collection is still growing. The kettle is perpetually on, the biscuit tin lying open in wait. I have a mug tree nestled behind my computer monitor, a draw for spoons, six or more mugs lying around most of the time and more biscuits than I care to think about. We have tea for all different times of day, as well as several different types of coffee and hot chocolate. Tis a good life indeed. The most tea is drunk whilst watching some series or another. It started off being Lost and Heroes, but we've watched all those now though a new Heroes episode comes out every Tuesday and so becomes the focal point of the day. Then it was Sugar Rush, Green Wing, and right now it's Peep Show and 24. Lazy lazy times. My house mates probably don't appreciate the DVDs playing at all hours but they're all decent people (save for one but we won't moan about that now). There are two Slovaks who used to be a couple but aren't any more (awkward ahoy), two lads from Northern Ireland, a Liverpudlian lad and Liverpudlian girl, a Frenchy, and me, the only Southener and therefore clearly the only sane person in the house.

My favourite thing here is the lazy Sundays. Joel has banned getting dressed and so we spend most of the day lounging around, watching 24 if Locke isn't about or watching Grey's if she is. We eat rubbish, chat, drink a lot of tea, and I moan about my aches and pains from hockey the previous day. Then in the evening, if we can be bothered, we get the Monopoly out and play Drunk Monopoly, a game I am proud to have invented, with my housemates. I wake up Monday mornings with a mushy head and amble down to uni in the freezing cold, listening to the ever-present sound of the ice cream man playing Greensleeves and driving me up the wall.

A hard knock life this aint. See you all at Christmas.

Here's my tea collection:
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We spent four hours getting ready to go out on Halloween and only went out for two:
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My three best, Joel, Locke, and Gerard with me too:
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