No mum, it hasn't
So a lot of people ask me if my gap year has been worthwhile. I know my mother thinks that I have wasted a lot of time, but, as my most esteemed collegue Harry says, there will never again be a better point in our lives to waste time. I'm sure a lot of people look at what I have done since August last year and don't consider it to add up to much. Well, I do. Yes, I do think about how maybe I should have gone to Africa and worked with kids, or to Tabago and worked with turtles, or to Asia and helped the tigers. But when it really comes down to it, my heart just wasn't in the right place to do that kind of thing. This year has been the most selfish of my life. I took it solely to let myself rest before university, to have fun, and to not worry. As these were the only criteria I set up for myself, I think I my year has been a success.
One of the reasons this is so, is Harry. If I hadn't taken this year, I would never know him like I do, and wouldn't have experienced many of my life lessons with him at my side, making sarcastic comments and generally picking on me! We worked this shitty job, cleaning together for five months, and it was the most regular thing in my life. It was a chore and a shame and a waste of two hours a day, and boy, did we complain bitterly about it! But it wouldn't have been the same with anyone else. Harry has brightened every week day I have had since last November, and that is an incredible thing to be able to say.
A lot of other little epiphanies have occurred this year. For instance, by the end of this trip, I will have spent over four months in the United States of America. This has been something amazing for me, and has given me a sense of freedom and independance I never had before. You can fill in the rest of the cliches yourself. I want to live here when I am older, which is an odd thing to want considering the state of their government, but then, ours isn't fairing all that much better really. I need to learn more about it before I make any more sweeping statements. Doing music journalism here, in Boston or NYC, would be the most amazing thing. The magazines and fanzines they have here cover such a wider spectrum, and in any given store there can be between ten and fifty different music mags. Some independant, some well established, but always a choice. I hadn't realised how important to me doing this journalism thing is until this year.
Another wonderful thing about this year has been visiting friends at uni, when I want and for how long I want, without worrying about missing my own lectures or seminars. Seeing Emily in Norwich three times was one of the best parts of the year. I love her friends, and the city, and just getting to hang with her in her new life. We saw lots of great bands together -Alkaline Trio, Beat Union, Taking Back Sunday, Engerica, Yellowcard- and got to meet most of them. Visting Jo in Cardiff was similarly wonderful. Metting Patrick Stump was, for Jo and I both, seminal, and the drunken times we have had together there were irreplaceable. I want to thank Jo profusely for looking after me when I refused to say no to just one more 99p double. Visting Jane too, was a joy, finally getting so see where she lives, and to meet Holly, her housemate and my long-term myspaz friend. Jacqui was most accommodating when I visited her earlier in the year, taking me to the legendary Jesters, the only club I've ever been to where the drink prices get smaller as the night goes on.
So no, in answer mum, it hasn't been a waste. It's been something I've been waiting to do for a long time. Sure, it's been trying, and sure I've been bored and lonely at times, but the crazy things that have happened this year, the people I've met and the things I've seen, far outweigh any bad memories I may have. And if I ever doubt myself again on the subject, all I have to do is ask Harry and he'll tell me, with pride, that wasting time is one of the most fun things you can do in life, and I will think back to all the things that have happened (and the hours I've spent watching my ER, Desperate Housewives and Six Feet Under box sets) and will, with a smile, agree.
Then he'll probably spray me with furniture polish. But that's OK. Tomorrow it's my turn to polish, and I just can't wait.
Ash x
One of the reasons this is so, is Harry. If I hadn't taken this year, I would never know him like I do, and wouldn't have experienced many of my life lessons with him at my side, making sarcastic comments and generally picking on me! We worked this shitty job, cleaning together for five months, and it was the most regular thing in my life. It was a chore and a shame and a waste of two hours a day, and boy, did we complain bitterly about it! But it wouldn't have been the same with anyone else. Harry has brightened every week day I have had since last November, and that is an incredible thing to be able to say.
A lot of other little epiphanies have occurred this year. For instance, by the end of this trip, I will have spent over four months in the United States of America. This has been something amazing for me, and has given me a sense of freedom and independance I never had before. You can fill in the rest of the cliches yourself. I want to live here when I am older, which is an odd thing to want considering the state of their government, but then, ours isn't fairing all that much better really. I need to learn more about it before I make any more sweeping statements. Doing music journalism here, in Boston or NYC, would be the most amazing thing. The magazines and fanzines they have here cover such a wider spectrum, and in any given store there can be between ten and fifty different music mags. Some independant, some well established, but always a choice. I hadn't realised how important to me doing this journalism thing is until this year.
Another wonderful thing about this year has been visiting friends at uni, when I want and for how long I want, without worrying about missing my own lectures or seminars. Seeing Emily in Norwich three times was one of the best parts of the year. I love her friends, and the city, and just getting to hang with her in her new life. We saw lots of great bands together -Alkaline Trio, Beat Union, Taking Back Sunday, Engerica, Yellowcard- and got to meet most of them. Visting Jo in Cardiff was similarly wonderful. Metting Patrick Stump was, for Jo and I both, seminal, and the drunken times we have had together there were irreplaceable. I want to thank Jo profusely for looking after me when I refused to say no to just one more 99p double. Visting Jane too, was a joy, finally getting so see where she lives, and to meet Holly, her housemate and my long-term myspaz friend. Jacqui was most accommodating when I visited her earlier in the year, taking me to the legendary Jesters, the only club I've ever been to where the drink prices get smaller as the night goes on.
So no, in answer mum, it hasn't been a waste. It's been something I've been waiting to do for a long time. Sure, it's been trying, and sure I've been bored and lonely at times, but the crazy things that have happened this year, the people I've met and the things I've seen, far outweigh any bad memories I may have. And if I ever doubt myself again on the subject, all I have to do is ask Harry and he'll tell me, with pride, that wasting time is one of the most fun things you can do in life, and I will think back to all the things that have happened (and the hours I've spent watching my ER, Desperate Housewives and Six Feet Under box sets) and will, with a smile, agree.
Then he'll probably spray me with furniture polish. But that's OK. Tomorrow it's my turn to polish, and I just can't wait.
Ash x
posted by Aisling at 9:43 AM
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